Rock Howard (rockhoward) wrote,
Rock Howard

  • Music:

No Church in the Wild

The problem with this is that I have to tell myself to turn it off. I start building these logical conclusions, getting ahead of myself. I wonder just by thinking if I jinx the whole thing. Like I should be knocking on wood with every wonder and every thought. The last time that it happened organically, I was under too much pressure to even think about it. I was in fight or flight, I couldn't think 28 steps ahead like I normally do.

But these days? I get so wrapped up. I pour over the details like a research paper. Cite every resource, but hide the scholarship. And I'm willing to look over the holes. For just a chance, just one chance. And then I play my cards to the best of my ability and still end up going home? Fuck LPTA.

And then there's glimpse of miracles. Blurry photos of Nessie or Sasquatch. And it's either a revolution or a man in a rubber suit. A faked moon landing. Is this supposed to keep me believing? That somewhere out there, hidden in the forest is this idea that I gave up on?
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